Husbands...

Only a man would bark at you to stop talking over the TV.... then continue to complain about you talking for 10 minuets.  Ten minuets, I might add... after you stopped talking regardless of any rude noises you might have made in reference to the obvious importance of being able to hear what's going on during a car race on a 42" TV....  I shut up didn't I?  Why isn't that good enough for you exactly?  I really don't care how important the car race is to you.  I'm sure after a year and a half of marriage you should have been able to figure that out.

I really do not understand men.  The TV has a pause button and the last time I checked, I don't need my ears to see the cars going around in a circle...

I stopped showing you every cool embroidery design I found, even the ones you would actually like.

I should make a list.  It will go something like this:

Do not talk during sports
Do not talk when the weather is on (even if the weather was on five minuets ago, it could have changed)
Do not talk during TV shows he likes
Do not give advise
Do not give advise to forestall an event such as a ruined meal
Do not give advise on how to repair anything even if he has no experience and I've fixed said thing before.  I know nothing.
Do not remind him of things
Do not remind him of things even if he habitually forgets said thing
Do not talk while he is talking
Do not talk when he takes a breath, he is not done
Do not develop bored, impatient or dirty look because he won't stop talking
Do not laugh when you point out how much he talks and he gets mad and disagrees
Do not point out how much he talks to hear himself talk
Do not show him anything I think is interesting.  It's not
Do not offer to read interesting articles to him.  They aren't.
Do not ask his opinion on the decor of the house.  He doesn't care.
Do not point out when he complains I never let him make any decorating decisions that he said he doesn't care.
Do not point out that half the decorating decisions in the house were his in the first place.
Do not mention things you want to do in 3-5 years if we cannot afford them RIGHT now


I'm sure there are more, those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head as they come up a lot.